During the briefing, we discussed authenticity and how much we are willing to share in our work. I usually avoid sharing too much in my work because whenever I do it I feel like it ends up being too vague and I tend to get stuck when reaching something that I can't or don't want to put into words.
Identity is, for me a difficult topic to approach. I feel quite fragmented and like there isn't a place where I can feel like I fully belong. Living in england, I often feel like I am missing something when I a, talking to other people, like some unspoken rules or context that I will never fully understand because I was not born here, something feels just slightly wrong or amiss so that it's so vague sometimes I think it's just inside my brain. But going back to my home country does not make me feel better since I have gotten used to the independence that I have here. Going home, I still feel like an outsider because of the gulit of leaving everyone behind, as well as the fact that I cannot conform to certain standards that are expected of somebody living there. Although I have talked to a lot of people my age that go trough pretty much the same things I still feel lonely when thinking about my own identity as it is something that uniquely mine and different for everyone lese so we can never fully understand what we've all been trough.
Staring the identity project, I'm not sure which brief to choose. Normally, I would definitely go for the 6th one, with materials as I enjoy working with unusual materials and trying new things to be able to establish a connection between the themes of my work and the means of creating it. However, I am considering trying something new as its the first brief of the year, so I feel inclined to choose one of the digital identity briefs. One of the things that I considered writing about in my contextualization is escapism, specifically in science fiction and fantasy media, and the idea of creating a fictional world to emphasise certain issues, as well as overdoing escapism to deal with feelings of hopelessness and how the abundance of digital media affects this.
Identity - Materials
I think exploring collage could be a great way to explore the concept of identity by using a mix of materials that can convey aspects of an identity. I could use some pieces of materials that are relevant to me, such as tissue paper or gift wrap. Throughout my life, I have struggled with maintaining relationships which has sometimes made me start hoarding a lot of things that remind me of my relationships or of past versions of me, or of feelings that I've felt that I thought were important at that moment. Coming to uni has challenged that as I have to move often and I only have a small room to keep all my stuff in.
This brief could be a way to discuss that by finding a way to use pieces of materials from those memories and piecing them together in a meaningful piece that can remind me of my past and make me feel like I don't have to mourn every piece whenever I declutter.
I started to look at collage artist to observe the ways in which they select materials appropriate to the themes they tackle and piece them together to emphasise the message of the piece on a material level.
Catherine street is an artist baesed im scotland whose work tends to be quite ambiguous. I enjoy looking at her work because of the many layers she constructs. The textures in her work translate well even trough a screen, each layer revealing more about the piece.
I particularly like the way in which she uses organically cut pieces of paper and combines them with simple black and white text, creating an interesting contrast.
Because of my lack of experience with typography, when I want to write in my work, I tend to resort to hand written cursive, which is less legible but feels more at home in my work. In contrast, Streets' text is bold, but it does not feel wholly out of place.
As someone who struggles with typography and using writing in general in my work, I think trying out some of her text collage techniques in my work would be helpful when trying to make a cohesive piece that blends both type and imagery.
andisheh avini
Hew Locke
'In collaboration with British Museum curators, he has selected objects from across the collection, interspersed with some of his own works, to explore histories and legacies of British imperialism from the early modern period to the present day. Rather than seeking to condemn or celebrate Britain's imperial legacy, Locke's engagement with the British Museum collection instead shows the ways in which it informs so many aspects of contemporary culture that we take for granted, and to leave the audience with questions.'
- The British Museum
Hew Locke uses his work to comment on British imperialist and colonialist culture, by creating sculptures covered in fake (chains, plastic objects, coins, and many more things he finds) regalia, but who has also collaborated with museums in the past to create installations using real artefacts.
The message of his work feels undoubtedly clear through the use of unique materials. Even with the fake regalia, the gold and general abundance in his sculptures is powerful enough, and his work feels highly critical, despite what the British Museum claims. However, I wonder how his collaborations with museums affect his work, since the history of museums in the UK feels like the opposite of what his work shows.
Claire Harvey
easily removable people
Digital identity
My art life timeline
Doing this, I found it easier to analyse and write about my younger years and what I used to do back then since now that it's been a while I can gage what was important or a monumental moment. In contrast, although what I've been doing in my uni years has been more relevant for an art career, I can't tell what will truly leave a mark on me. I think this can change as I age, since, for example, while I was in high school (15-18yo), I never particularly thought of my 11 - 13 year old period as particularly important, but looking back I can see how everything impacted my life way more than I realised.
To analyse this period of my life I could start looking at media that tends to bring me back to that time.
I try not to dwell too much on the past since it makes me sad to think I won't feel that exact way again. There is a certain carefreeness that I didn't even know I had during that time. Although I think it's natural to assume that our problems of the present are the biggest and hardest thing ever, the fact that changed is that right now I feel burdened by other peoples' issues whereas when I was young, even though I still fell worried it was never that consuming.
USEFULL USELESS
I decided to make a book using only mostly used-up pens. Last year when I was moving out, I had to declutter quite a bit. When I got to cleaning through my pens and art supplies I was a bit emotional since I'd had a lot of them for years and even though they were pretty much useless and dried out at that point I still felt sad to let them go. While I was testing them out to see which ones do not work anymore, I found a blank book and I decided to use the pens to give them one last opportunity to create something before chucking them in the bin.
I wanted to recreate that right now but in a more image-based way since the previous book was mostly made up of text. I used 2 A3 sheets to create 4 big images using drying pens and other items I find pretty useless like these 2 stickers I have had since first year. I then folded and cut them up to create a book.
I wanted to have a really dramatic title for it to reflect my emotions on throwing away stuff I have had for years and the sadness that came with me thinking that I haven't used any of these pens for anything all that great. I used one of my crustiest pens to write ' I am dying', a title that feels like it is about a human.
I also made a second experimental book about single-use plastic. I made it out of food packaging and some bags I had collected that I ironed to pieces of paper and cut up. I wanted to use it to comment on the enormous amount of microplastics in the world and how unavoidable they are, to the point that they are also inside us.
RISK FAILURE
During this studio session we were asked to spend 2 hours on a piece of work and then destroy it in some way. I wanted to come up with something where the destroying of the work is relevant to the work itself in some way.
I often like to do life drawing when I'm in public spaces like cafes, trains or airports. I've been meaning to try giving some of the stuff I do to the victims of my life drawing, but I've never followed through since I feel like they will think I'm weird or that I want money from them or that they might feel offended with how I've drawn them. I thought that this would be a nice opportunity to try that, since there are still people that I've not talked to on this course, and doing this would be a good opportunity to do so. This is not exactly similar to giving drawings to strangers since, here, I can just say it's part of the workshop and that makes it not be weird (I think), but in a real life setting this would not work, but I think this is still a good start.
I decided to draw the room with everyone in it and I ripped all the people out.
Although I spent some time on it, maybe about am hour, this is not really a good drawing. In landscape pictures, I prefer to focus more on the contrast and perspective, but this image has no perspective whatsoever, linear or cromatic, and the proportions are way off. Additionally, most of the people do not look like themselves. I figured the perspective issue would not be a big deal since I was planning to rip it apart anyway, but the fact that some people were massively misshapen added to my anxiety in sharing the pieces.
I wanted to give everyone theyr own person. I was hesitant to do this with the people with whom I've never talked to but I decided to take the risk and do it even though I felt super embarassed.
The Aftermath
I did not know where to go after this. During the peer review there was one specific comment that helped me: "Why do you want to make people sad", which was in regard to my pen book. During this project, I have struggled to interpret identity. This comment made me realise that my experimental books aimed to put one of my real-life experiences on paper. I decided to take that further and think about using the materials and format of a book to make whoever looks at it feel similar to how I did in one moment of my life.
I thought about using silverfish because of the strong feelings they ellicit in people, specifically disgust. In second year, although I rarely saw one, I took them as a bad omen since it felt like I would always see one when I was at my lowest. I often blamed them for my bad mood, although I would've been upset before seeing them and it wasn't really their fault, similar to how they don't do that much damage, but they appear when something is already damaged in a room (leaks, high humidity etc). They are mysterious phantomatic figures that appear and disappear out of thin air.
I wanted to convey my anxiety of seeing them, although they are rare because they are so small every spec of dust makes me think I saw one, and I've come to associate them with my negative feelings.
